The other day, I was feeling rather bored. This is an unusual feeling for me, and when I searched the symptoms on the internet, it said that I either had acute bronchitis, Megaesophagus, or was bored. I decided that I must have been bored. I’m not familiar with what normal people do when they experience boredom, so I did what made sense to me – I took to trip into 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Yes, I mean the film, it would have been a little harder to go into the book and anyway, I wanted to visit Jupiter, not Saturn that day. I had an idea what to expect, so I prepped for it by beating a monkey with a bone* and I phoned my daughter and asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said a Bush baby, and I thought that was cute but I realised that that was a little impractical and also I don’t have a daughter.
*no monkeys were harmed, I’m very bad at beating up things, in fact, they hurt me a little.
So, here is the highlights of my trip:
I didn’t have my camera for the first while, like when I was with the monkey “pre-humans”, but that part was fun. We didn’t do much, but it really kicked off when some big ole’ monolith just appeared and started wailing at us. Everybody started freaking out and killing each other.
Skip ahead like, a million years, and I was on the moon with the boys. We were going for a trip and low and behold, what did we find? Yep, a big ole’ monolith again, like, buried in the moon! It was so weird, I was like “Picture time, guys!” and then the monolith started freaking the heck out. I guess it doesn’t like getting its picture taken. Oh, and my camera broke. That’s why I don’t have a picture of that, the stupid block deleted all of my photos!
After this, I got a new camera and went on this spaceship with some guys and an ever-so-slightly control freak computer called HAL 9000. You should see the new upgrade of it now, the HAL 9000S, it now has extra lip-reading technology. Oh, and GPS, which helps when you’re in space. It’s like if Apple designed a spaceship and put Siri in, and then it went crazy.
This is a photo of me and HAL 9000:
As you can see, HAL’s favourite group is RUN:DMC.
The other guys on-board where cool, but kind of paranoid about everything. I’d be like, “Hey, guys, let’s go play on that spinning track thing! That’d be so much fun!” and they’d be like “Eugh, no, we need to sort out this whole ‘Our spaceship is trying to kill us’ thing.” and I’d say “Guys, you really need to keep your voices down, HAL can probably hear you.” And they realised this, so they went into one of those pods, but they wouldn’t let me in.
They were rather rude about it. So, to get back at them, I told HAL that they were in there.
While they were gibbering on about possibly being killed by a spaceship computer, I took a wee jaunt in a space pod.
Guess what I figured out? I can’t fly a space pod! That was a fun thing to learn when you’re in a space pod. I was floating off, and the guys saw this, so one of them went out to try and get me. But bad news, guys – he got me out, but then HAL saw this and went after both of us. At this part, I decided to dander on, because it was getting too intense for me, so I floated back on home.
So, that’s how I got home. It was a fun time, but I know that I maybe should have stayed on and gone on that trippy space voyage that Dave went on, but it’s okay that I didn’t.
So, yes, that’s a little recap on something that I have done recently. I had a good time. And I learnt one thing: Always believe in yourself!
-Kat McLightning
Originally posted on http://katmclightning.tumblr.com/
Kat McLightning 